Sing soos ‘n rivier

The initial “brief” for the poem - language-related words as basis - is still fresh in my mind. I tried to stay as close as possible to Graham Mort’s excellent reworking of the poem during my translation process - I tried to imitate the metre, movement and flow, and was successful up to a point (Afrikaans and English are both Germanic languages after all, although the character of Afrikaans is becoming more and more African), but had to change word order here and there to render grammatically “correct” parts of speech. The level on which I could “gain” the most in my translation, was that of sound - internal and half-rhyme (first and fifth stanza), alliteration and assonance: [e:] and [?] in the first stanza, [f] in the second, [i] in the third, [x] in the fourth (“elusive thought” = “glipperige gedagte”, here contributing on an onomatopoetic level as well), [?] in the fifth, etc. In the tenth stanza, I had to choose between “treiter” and “folter” (“torments”); I chose “treiter” and the result was assonance with “Vyand” and a reduction in the alliterating [f] sounds. Still on the phonologic level: I lost the play on “mimed/mind” (stanza 4) in my translation. “Open” and “closes” (stanza 11) could be effected as “ontsluit” and “áfsluit”, with an element of morphologic playfulness
I had difficulty in finding a suitable equivalent for “strains”. In the original poem, there are connotations with “(blood)lines”, “sounds” and “exertion” (“baggage”). I opted for “tone” (“tones”/ “strains”), because of its connotations with sound spectra, “ways”, as well as with the exertion implied by the action of “telling”, here in the alliterative sense. Here I lost out on Graham’s “streams”/“strains”.
The whole translation exercise was very rewarding and educative, as was the initial “fabrication” of the poem.

February, 2006

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	Sing soos 'n rivier

Translating ‘Sing Like A River’ into ‘Sing soos ‘n rivier’ by Henning Pieterse		Listen to a reading of this poem by Henning Pieterse
The initial “brief” for the poem - language-related words as basis - is still fresh in my mind. I tried to stay as close as possible to Graham Mort’s excellent reworking of the poem during my translation process - I tried to imitate the metre, movement and flow, and was successful up to a point (Afrikaans and English are both Germanic languages after all, although the character of Afrikaans is becoming more and more African), but had to change word order here and there to render grammatically “correct” parts of speech. The level on which I could “gain” the most in my translation, was that of sound - internal and half-rhyme (first and fifth stanza), alliteration and assonance: [e:] and [?] in the first stanza, [f] in the second, [i] in the third, [x] in the fourth (“elusive thought” = “glipperige gedagte”, here contributing on an onomatopoetic level as well), [?] in the fifth, etc. In the tenth stanza, I had to choose between “treiter” and “folter” (“torments”); I chose “treiter” and the result was assonance with “Vyand” and a reduction in the alliterating [f] sounds. Still on the phonologic level: I lost the play on “mimed/mind” (stanza 4) in my translation. “Open” and “closes” (stanza 11) could be effected as “ontsluit” and “áfsluit”, with an element of morphologic playfulness I had difficulty in finding a suitable equivalent for “strains”. In the original poem, there are connotations with “(blood)lines”, “sounds” and “exertion” (“baggage”). I opted for “tone” (“tones”/ “strains”), because of its connotations with sound spectra, “ways”, as well as with the exertion implied by the action of “telling”, here in the alliterative sense. Here I lost out on Graham’s “streams”/“strains”. The whole translation exercise was very rewarding and educative, as was the initial “fabrication” of the poem. February, 2006		Sing soos ‘n rivier Dis dood en nog nie gebore nie die eerste, woordelose lewenskreet ‘n seëning en ‘n vloek Ek het geleer om te sing. Klanke het my omsirkel het mekaar probeer vind soos vlermuise fladderend deur ‘n skemer van stiltes. My tong - ‘n klok agter my tande - het gesmag na dieper klanke sy het tot die son geskree ‘n skril lawaai, verdrietige lied. Laggend het ek die musiek nageboots in my gemoed: nou seën en vloek woorde elke glipperige gedagte. Dis ‘n leer wat opklim tot in duisternis, ‘n weerlig- slag, ‘n bundel lig in die donker, donker nag. Die elektrisiteit wat jou herinnerings lewe gee, ‘n stekende dolk ‘n bitter pil, ‘n druppel water in my verdorde keel. Ek het geleer om soos ‘n rivier te sing babbel soos water toe het vreemde tongvalle oor my kop gebreek. Hierdie tale, hierdie strome wat vloei tot in onbekende riviere ontmoet by die see van bekendheid en vertel die tone van afkoms. ‘n Seëning, ‘n vloek ‘n adder, ‘n engel met donker vlerke, die geroep van ‘n uil die padda op jou tong ‘n Vyand wat treiter as ervaring verwond dis die vriend wat blý as eensaamheid toeslaan. Dis die sleutel om jou te ontsluit, die slot wat jou áfsluit ‘n doodsroggel, ‘n pleit, ‘n gebed die begin en die einde ‘n reënboog gespat op die maag van die waterval.
Biography I live in Pretoria (Tshwane) and teach Afrikaans and Dutch linguistics and poetry at the University of South Africa (UNISA), where I am Associate Professor in the Department of Afrikaans and Theory of Literature. My mother tongue is Afrikaans; I work in Afrikaans, English, Dutch, German and basic French. One of the worst sins of Apartheid to me was that, as a child, I had no chance to learn one of the African languages such as SeTswana or isiZulu. At this stage I know quite a few phrases in both languages and my four-year old son is learning both at an amazing rate. Although South Africa has eleven official languages, English is the de facto unofficial official language. Afrikaans has six million mother-tongue speakers, more than English, but the latter is perceived by scholars, students and politicians as the language of power and of access to the international arena. As a young child I was taught, subtly and not so subtly, to revile the English (and their language; echoes of the South African War of 1899-1902), but I quickly learnt to distinguish between ideologies and sentiments linked to a language and the language itself.