Student Wellbeing Services
Counselling and Mental Health Service
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When someone we love or care about dies, we are plunged into an emotional whirlpool which we call 'grief'. Grief affects everyone but it doesn't affect everyone in the same way. There are no right or wrong reactions to death, some people might cry, others won't. It can be painful and stressful, but it can also leave you feeling very little or empty, but all these reactions are natural, normal and necessary. There's no right or wrong time scale either. For some people the grieving process might take months or years. Reactions and feelings can change from hour to hour, and day to day. Some days are good while others are bad; some days you'll be up and others down again. Over time the emotional swings will lessen in intensity as you learn to adapt to your changed circumstances, but to begin with it can be hard.
There are many different types of losses that a person may experience in a lifetime, in addition to those experienced following a death. All of these losses have the potential to result in a grief response:
Loss of Body Function: Hearing, vision, mental capacities, mobility, communication
Loss of Control: Natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, social conditions, hospitalization of loved one
Loss of Health: Medical conditions, illnesses, disability, debilitating or terminal diseases
Loss of Home, Property: Homelessness, natural or man-made disasters, aging
Loss of Identity: Marriage, career, new parent, empty nest syndrome, relocation, retirement
Loss of Job, Income: Downsizing, layoffs, retirement, career change
Loss of Relationship: Death, divorce, pet, breakup, illness, adoption
Loss that is Unexpected or Unanticipated: The sudden loss, which is often traumatic, that comes without warning from out of the blue, or the unexpected phone call.
If you are going through the grieving process and would like to talk to someone about what you're feeling, or the way it's affecting your life at university and at home, you are very welcome to come and talk things through with one of the counsellors. You can make an appointment to see a Counsellor by telephoning extension 92690 (external 592690), or by calling in at The Base on A Floor, University House..