Mary's Diary

Day Four - Welcome

3/09/03

Dear all

And welcome to Zoe and Mary's traveling adventure (the Mary edition for those who receive both.)

Day 4 and we arrived in Manali not to be confused with manila as earlier reported to some. I can confirm that we are still in India. the Ganja capital of India no less - I have not indulged in this local delicacy, but after an 18 hour nightmare bus journey to our current location 6000+ in the Himalayas I am in not in much of a state even to finish this email - which is the second version as this keyboard has some funny shortcuts. or it could be me after having only around 10 hours sleep in the last 5 days thanks to Airplanes, time difference, culture shock, larium and potholes. Many many many potholes. I am sore and bused and that suda cream has already been put to good use - thankyou Nina.

I hope sleep comes quickly tonight - I can lie awake thinking about all the things that have happened in the last 4 days. It has been a steep learning curve, having landed in perhaps one of the worlds hardest travel destinations - we have been taken a merry dance around Delhi, and found ourselves in some unlikely situations. We are thinking about taking a further 19 hour jeep further into the mountains to Leh, but I'm not sure I can physically move from this place - totnes/hebden bridge of the hymalayas. I think we'll rest up for a while, do some walking, but not too far into bear and bandit country.

The cool breeze at this high altitude is a welcome break from the oppressive excessive heat of delhi. I keep thinking I might have a tan, but soon realize I am caked in dirt. It is so stunning up here - I've got vertigo just thinking of how far down the sea is from here. and those hair pin bends and steep drops on the way here. Dispite the bus journey, and all its trial - and there were many - I couldn't help but gaze in awe at the amazing scenery around me.

Zoe and I are becoming hippies to avoid looking like western porn stars (no joke). Thankyou lal for that book - we have saved half for later, we nearly cried with laughter at king and queen pig. Just what we needed to pick ourselves up, give ourselves a traveling makeover and get back on the trail to somewhere.

It's a steep learning curve, and we're at the top of a fucking big hill.

Hop everybody is happy and good -email me - I need to know what is going on in all your lives. I've been rubbish at emails for the last 2 years. a symptom of too much customer service.

Take Care,

Mary

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Day Seven - From Vashisht

3/09/03

Dear all...

Well, still in the himalayas, the place has got us trapped... We are now fully fledged hippies having met the man that was on the frount cover on one of the magazines 'on the shitter' at the first ever Glastonbury... you might even remember this dave - his name's Sam - he said it was a small crowd there!

We've been exploring - the waterfall today was just spectacular, and we've met some really great people.

There is going to be an MSN community for this adventure [Well this page is it actually, Ed], I'll send you the address once I get out of these mountains and a more reliable connection I have 21 mosquito bites, non malarial, we are too high up, and Zoe was sick once, but with no other side effects... I think we are equal. There are all kinds of tourists here - hikers and extream sports lovers, smack heads, yoga fanatics, old hippies who have arrived and stayed, spirital seekers, and on 15th many many people will decend on this town on the dope trail, ready for harvest.

The speciality of the region is lovely, I can understand why people stay. But this place is going the same way as so many other discovered places... swamped with tourists, litter and polution. The snow is getting later and later every year here, and the locals say it will not snow here in 10 years. Since its been nearly an hour trying to read all your replys - many thanks its fantastic to hear from you, I will answer more of your questions at a later date.

I enclose with a bit of luck, a picture I have made. mmm apple crumble for breakfast I think - there is apple everything here - you can get anything as long as its apple.

I have ahd to give up sending the picture but you will have to take my word... you would have liked it.

Dave S - - great to hear about your adventures - expect you're back in caneda - don't let the adventures stop - I still want to hear from you...

Dave B - -do you remember the man on the frount of one of the magazines for Glastonbury 'on the shitter'. [No, sadly not, Ed]

Also we met a metiorologist here today, and I remembered your Dad was here in the war, and am curious to know where. - And what is Adam Ray's email address?

Rhi Bea - - Great to hear about thailand, I'll be coming to find you in a few months.

Timmy - - I'll watch out for those bandits on bears

Good morning all... hope this sends

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Day Thirteen - Down The Hill

9/09/03

Hi All

We took our lives into our hands once more, and took a bus down the harepin bends of the himalayas, overtaking on blind bends and excessive use of the horn essential, and the views spectacular, to shimla, which is a bit like an English themepark, with mock tudor buildings, and public service messages everywhere. I don't like it so much here, It's OK but there are no lizzards and a million moths, I must have eaten a few... but the internet is faster and more reliable here, which is nice.

On a different note. I think I might be becoming a bitch. I have develloped a scowl... which hopefully translates as don't mess with me, and I'm not sexy... We are considering becoming married christians here to do good work, to detur horny men of which there are too many. This will go along with our crusty hippie look which I'm supprizingly good at, having not washed my hair for a week, and it's too cool up here for our clothes to dry before they smell, so filthy clothes it is then.

Not that we can smell ourselves as both me and Zoe both have streaming colds

Luckily we have met some great indian men, who have guided us up hills to beautiful waterfalls, and persuaded us to stay in their hostels, but there still is a massive misconseption of western women among many men here, which leads many men to try their luck... Not unlike a night out at arena. We have had some bizzare and brillient times. The stangest thing someone has tryed to sell us so far... fake beards at the red fort Delhi... it was straight out of Monty Pithon, but the wrong continant, and there was no public stoneing.

Today we took a stoll down a steep hill in the Old English Town countryside to The Glen. Which was unremakable and a big hill to walk back up. We went to the theatre yesterday and saw a piece premoteing lituracy (sp?!) in India, all in hindi, but it was great to see the different conventions, expressions and reactions.

I want to make an orchard instillation.

Tomorrow we're going to the temple for a monkey god at sunrise, spending the day in shimla and taking our first train to Agra... for the Taj Mohal. Can't wait to get to the desert... its cold and rainy here, you can tell why homesick Bristish colonials made this place their summer retreat.

Goodnight
Mary B

Penny - keep me up to date with where you are. it would be great to meet up.

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Day Sixteen - From Agra

12/09/03

Dear All

Well we made it out of those hills, and expected that rain to stop and be back in the scorching heat... no such luck, the rain was relentless instead of cold drizzle we've got monsoon downpour, which is refreshing and the place we are staying in has such good air conditioning I had to sleep in my sleeping bag again last night... its a good job I didn't abandon it in the hills as I had planned.

We only saw 1 yak the entire time we were there, and failed to try any yak butter or yak tea.

I have a bad habbit of compareing places to other places... if Minali was the Hymalayas Totnes, Shimla was its Morcombe, complete with 80s archades, inflatables, and its very own monkey play park. On our last morning in Shimla we took a treck up hill to a temple devoted to the Monkey God Jacku... which came first the monkeys - 100s of them, or the temple? Either the monkeys are cleverer than we think and there is some spiritual link, or they go there to be fed. And feed them we did. And nearly died... 2 of them growled at me and I'm sure they had rabies and their teeth were MASSIVE. As England tryed to keep David Shakespere, Shimla was trying to hospitalise me and Zoe to keep us there. Potenetial hazzards were everywhere, slippry steps, rabied monkeys, packs of lazy dogs.

But we made it out. And on the 20 hour journey somehow my phone is busted. So no mobile anymore. I might see if I can get it fixed... they can fix anything here, if they can make a 'luxury bus' out of an old lorry. My phone should not be too much of a problem.

The journey was pleasently uneventful, if cramped at first - there seemed to be a family with 15 children moving house in our carriage, children and boxes flying everywhere... perhaps Shimlas last attempt to keep us there. We didn't loose anything on the way... we weren't blown up at Delhi station, despite the date and warnings... we spent 5 long hours there. Nothing was stolen even though Delhi - Agra is notoriously bad. We even kept hold of our umbrella, which in england both me and Zoe will loose on a regular basis. A rickshaw streight to the hostel.

Red fort today, Taj tomorrow...

The latest in the changing image of Zoe and Mary... is old lady chique. We now have shawls which are great for hiding under, but by the laughter of the school childeren we passed I fear the shawl may be the equivalent of a tabard. Still it might catch on.

Goodnight chicks

Kienan - thanks 4 the joke... I didn't have your email till now, but you'll get these emails regularly now... ammmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaazing

Penny - Get a big stick... good for waving at dogs, monkeys, and aparently fighting off cockrels though we've not come accross any of those yet I can vouch for the first 2. Also good for wacking horny men that get too close.

Dave - I'll stick arround for about 1/2 hour so if you are on line email me [I missed her that time Ed]

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Day Nineteen - Sick, Sick, Sick

15/09/03

Hi all

We are sick, sick, sick sick sick.
Zoe is more sick than me, and was vomiting all night, and I may need to break off this email at any second to dash for the loo.

We think it was the pomigranite/orange juice last night, Zoe drank lots, and I a little. We were assured there was no local water... I guess the fruit could have been rotten.

We have been lying in bed reading about all the really nasty deseases we could have contracted and have diagnosed ourselves with hypercopiousickyness, or the common delhi belly - 2 weeks, not bad going.

I should get back to my bed/loo now.

Messages of encouragement sould be sent to (Zoe's email address)

I will write more about monsoon rains, architecture, and culture when I can get my head round it.

Take care

Must Fly

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Day Twenty - fans and questions and questions about fans

16/09/2003

Well after stareing at the fan on the roof for a day and a half... a remody recomended by my dad as a good cure for delhi belly... I get to thinking...
Why is it that moving air is so much cooler than still air?
I question this during one of the frequent powercuts here, there were aprox 16 yesterday, lasting from 30 secs to 15 mins... the fan has stopped, the lights have gone out, and I'm boiling hot.
Also Do the outsides of fans have to move faster, as they have further to go? But surely thats not possible, because they are fixed to a central point...
Another question which kept me bemused whilst on a long bus trip, How do flys keep flying round you at their normal speed, surely they would be thrown straight to the back of the bus, considering the busses speed... or can flies fly as fast and faster than a bus can move, surely not. I guess its a bit like jumping in a lift, I can't work that out either perhaps I should have listened in physics.
answers on a postcard

Well I am feeling much better now... apparently I scared some people with the sick, sick, sick title, and I'm sorry. And for all this sickness, I have craved some home comforts... Blue Mashed Potato... Eastenders... Golden Virgina...

With all the illness and stress it may sound like we're not having an amazing time, we are... its all part of the ride.

We have had a request for more animal stories... I am sat next to a massive daddy longlegs. We say many ants carrying a dead fly down our wall today, and zoe loves to inspect the gory details, giving a running comentry... you wouldn't know it to look at her, such a sweet girl... 'they've got it by the neck' (dinosaur cafe... don't forget to keep it in business untill I get back exeterites, I've been craving a carrot and lentil soup with lemon today).

Some monkeys stole the buttons and ripped the coller off one of zoe's drying top, apparently in protest of not getting fed after a photo... they didn't earn their titile cheeky for nothing.

I should get some early sleep now, ready for our trip to rajistan tomorrow.

goodnight all
m.

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Day Twenty Two - going down to talk to the cows

18/09/03

In the middle of the road
At the top of a temple
In our hotel

Cows are everywhere, and of course sacred.

And I did think today, during one particularly hair raising rickshaw ride... in between laughing hysterialy, and contemplateing taking up Zoe's regular cry of 'We're going to die here'... what would happen if we killed a cow in a terrible rickshaw accident?

The roads here are a rule unto themselves. The bus will travel on the wrong side of the road for as long as possible, overtaking smallervehicles, until a large vehicle forces it back to its own side. The beeping of the horn is compulsory, it means lookout, move in, i'm bigger than you and i'm coming through. auto rickshaws will think nothing of powering up the wrong side of the road in heavy trafic, and a cycle rickshaw will happily miander its way the wrong way round a roundabout if it will save a bit of peddleing.

Q) How many tourists can you fit on a cycle rickshaw?
A) 4, so far, 2 forwards and 2 back, we did protest but the rickshaw driver was proud and wanted to take us all. We estimated with an strong peddler we could have fitted at least another 4.

We didn't know the meaning of reckless driving till today, when we found what it was to face the rath of the autorickshaw driver. We negotiated 100rp to amber fort return. On the way back he said we must visit 3 factories or it will be 200rp. I was too tired and hungry to face the long hard sell of the commission factory. So we said no, Zoe got out and said 100rp all the way or we get out now and nothing. 2 factories? Zoe walks away, I grab the bags and make to follow her and he relents. And is just a little pissed off. It says 30km/h on the side and I didn't believe these little things could do that speed till now. This guy had a suiside wish , we were flying over potholes, hurtleing round corners, dodging sacred cows and rabied dogs. Next stop, we got off.

Sometimes you just can't win.[Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band reference - Ed]

So, we have moved out of agra, we had to go, it began to feel like it was our room keeping us ill, and agra, apart from the taj is not a place i'd want to stay long, to jaipur and the Evergreen Guest House. The rickshaw drivers and guides have an unnerving ability to guess where we stay... and then knowingly smile Evergreen, Never Clean. The rickshaw man from hell, was charming on the way there, and a great poet he called his rickshaw the 'indian helicopeter, japati express, cheeper than bananas, 24 hours, full power, no toilet, no shower'.

We've had a good day.
And then we got off the bus.

And the winner is Tom Vinealot for the speedy physics lesson, cheers Has anybody got amy and b's email address? Or kienan smyth? eilidh, hope the temple's going well - if you send us the address of the house of gay we'll be able to send you some genuine monkey stuff (not stuffed monkey) for the temple. lally, how you doing gril? we came close to reading the second half of your book whilst ill, but we couldn't get to the bag, so we still have that treat.

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Day Twenty Five - From Pushkar

21/09/03

Hi All

Well pushkar ist beautiful, and I've decided to stop moaning, and make you all green.
A beautiful little place set round a lake, with over 50 temples with bathing ghats. When we arrived we were treated to a great little performance by some 'holy men' (scam artists). It was sunset over the lake, hundreds of fish making the water sqirm beneath our feet. We take part in a religious ceremony, making prayers for our family, and offering flowers to the water. I would happily have paid for the performance - stunning, but not the bogus charity they were collecting for.

We went for a walk yesterday, to try to get up to a temple for sunset, got lost (though the massive hill we noticed on the way back should have given us a clue.

Music comes from everywhere here, whether its prayers, gypsy bands, or tabla playing as we walked over the sand dunes past the lake...
I can't imagine a nicer place to be sick.
After considering the possibility of having a form of dysentry, and not liking this idea very much at all, I have decided it's probably the Larium, and I will seek alturnative anti malarial drugs.

Zoe is well again, and we are convinced it was pomigranite juice. A monkey tryed to steal my limca this morning (fizzy drink) but it dropped it when I said oi. It smashed and went all over the floor. For a split second I considered fighting the monkey for it, but I wouldn't stand a chance.

Goodnight
m.

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Day Twenty Seven - From Jodpur

23/09/03

Yes I write from where the trousers were invented. Jodpur.
And its Blue.
I like to compare places with other places, but this place is like nowhere on earth.

A massive fort on a rock overlooking a see of blue houses, with steps that go to nowhere but the top of the world.

I was glad to have egg on toast when I arrived, because eggs are illegal in Pushkar, along with meat, being topless, and alcohol.

How did I cope? Its quite hard to get alcohol at all here, expensive, and fizzy. I have had only 4 beers in 3 1/2 weeks. And so many eggs for breakfast. 1/2 a chocolate bar, and that wasn't good...how will I survive?

The journey here was as ever eventful, you know yoo're in for a ride and a half every time you move here. We got the bus, which I noticed as is custom, was driving on the wrong side of the road, hand on horn. What I didn't realise was that the police had been following the bus for 3/4 hour, trying to make the bus pull over, and the bus driver was refusing.

First thing we know is the police get on and start shouting and people look a little scared, they head for the driver, battons up and drag him out of the bus, most of the people get off the bus and we are left 4 tourists, clueless, and a handful of locals.

What is going on? Should we get off the bus, is it safe? Are we being hijacked? I can see this turning into a hostage situation, where we are dragged to a police station, and have to pay bribes to get out... like it says in The Book.

But as suddenly as it started, a driver - maybe the same one gets on the bus, and we drive away.

The driver was arrested and had to pay 2000rp we are told - a typical months basic wage. And I didn't look but I think he was beaten.
got to love the law here
at least they take dangerous driving seriously here?
But is was a good journey, and I exchanged a gingernut and some portishead for some beans - not magic, but tasty.

And children and adults loved the american's digital camera, and everyone was happy, and not mean or starey, except the police. and they are mean and scary.

So we got here and the 4 of us who were in a potential hostage situation decided to go to a havlis, and it is the most fairytale place that you can remember, I have never been or seen a place like this, never mind stayed in one. it is magical.

We will stay like princesses in Jodpur.
I didn't think I was going to like this place too much. I was wrong.
And I'm nearly well I think.

Goodnight all
m.

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Day Thirty Two - Desert Girl

28/09/03

Hi all

Well you know when you are in the wilderness when you are without internet connection.

So off we went to seek the sand dunes on the back of a camel... so I can stop going to beaches and taking closeup pictures of sand and pretending I'm in the desert.

Alas the desert is green, very hot, but green with plants and grass, goats and cows grazing.
And there are butterflys in the desert.
And prickly balls that stick in your feet and make you want to scream. And in the desert it did rain, big sploshing fat wet drops of water on our heads.
And camels don't like rain, and they refused to drink at the oasis. So we spent the night under the stars and dung beatles on the 1 dune we found called Nadia.
And it was beautiful - with no light polution, there are many stars and we saw mars.
My camel was called Ratu, and he was a racing camel so they wouldn't let him off the lead.
It was a love hate thing from the moment I got on his back, he lunged forward, then backwards, then forwards and then I'm high up in the air looking down.
I only called him Ragu twice, which may have given him an identity crisis if he was listening, because Zoe was riding Mr. Magu.

Anyway, I've asked for a job here and they seem enthusiastic, and they will call me desert girl.

From the golden city of Jaisalmer - somewhere in the great thar desert Goodnight.
m.

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And from Tom Vinelott

>Subject: Questions Questions Questions...
>Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2003 21:15:57 +0100
>
>
>
>>Thankyou for your answers - when I tell people they seem interested in
>>this service - perhaps there is a business in asktomvinealot - would you
>>mind if I emailed some of your answers to the group email?
>
>    Not at all... to make it easy for you, I've
>    compiled your previous questions below. They
>    don't call me "King of the Backup People"
>    for nothing.
>
>>Camels - have 1 hump - I thought they had 2 what is the meaning of
>>this?
>
>    Dromedary (or Arabian) = one hump;
>    Bactrian = two humps. So you were right.
>    Perhaps you should visit Bactria. Actually
>    perhaps not, due to war.
>
>>I had 1 more question today, but I forget.
>
>    Nevertheless, the answer is "it can if you put it in sideways".
>
>    P.S.: no "a" in Vinelott.
>
>PREVIOUSLY ON THE LITTLE MARY BLEASDALE SHOW:
>=============================================
>
>>Why is it that moving air is so much cooler than still air?
>
>    Air is not a very efficient conductor of heat, so still air
>    next to the skin is heated up by the body. A breeze blows
>    this body-heated blanket away, replacing it with air at
>    the ambient temperature - which is much cooler than
>    body heat.
>
>[UPDATE: This is why you blow on your food.]
>
>>Also Do the outsides of fans have to move faster, as they have further
>>to
>>go? But surely thats not possible, because they are fixed to a central
>>point...
>
>    Of course it's possible - the central point isn't
>    moving at all. This is why record grooves... oh,
>    wait - I expect you're too young to remember
>    vinyl. If you tie a pencil to the end of a blade
>    (facing down) & another half way along, each will
>    draw a circle on a piece of paper that you hold up
>    underneath. Each circle will get started at the
>    same time, & each will finish at the same time.
>    But the outer circle is, of course, much longer -
>    you could measure it with the old 'piece of string
>    & a ruler' trick to prove this. If you cover
>    longer distance in the same amount of time, you
>    are going faster - Q.E.D.
>
>>Another question which kept me bemused whilst on a long bus trip, How
>>do
>>flys keep flying round you at their normal speed, surely they would be
>>thrown straight to the back of the bus, considering the busses speed... or
>>can flies fly as fast and faster than a bus can move, surely not.
>
>    Yes - this is why all passengers pile crushed to
>    death at the back of buses: because they can't
>    run as fast as the bus. Making buses ever so
>    popular as a form of suicide... er, transport.
>
>    The air in the bus is also a passenger, & the
>    flies fly through that same air... NOT the air
>    OUTSIDE the bus. Just like your lunch swims
>    through your tummy which is a passenger in the
>    bus, & usually (although not always) remains
>    in sync with you - & doesn't splatter all over
>    the back wall instead.
>
>    Of course, as long as the bus is moving at a
>    constant speed, then everything inside the bus
>    is at rest relative to the bus. It's only when
>    the bus accelerates or brakes that inertia
>    makes everything in the bus resist the change
>    in pace, seemingly lurching forward (or
>    backwards) relative to the bus... but,
>    conversely, just slowing down (or speeding up)
>    relative to an observer outside the bus.
>
>    That's the theory of relativity! - And now you
>    understand it!
>
>    [Recap: bus brakes = everyone in the bus
>    suddenly accelerates forwards - or so it
>    seems to THEM.
>    But pedestrian watching bus brake sees
>    passengers slowing down, not speeding up!
>    Geddit? They're just slowing down slower
>    than the bus slows down!]
>
>>I guess its a bit like jumping in a lift, I can't work that out either
>>perhaps I should have listened in physics.
>
>    They don't teach that in Physics. Read
>    New Scientist magazine for loads of
>    questions like these (back pages).
>
>    It's all down to your Frame of Reference -
>    if you did an animation of the lift
>    going up & down with people jumping up
>    & down in it, you'd have a good external
>    frame of reference (the skyscraper) & you'd
>    soon see what's what. You only get confused
>    if you look no further than the walls of
>    the lift... you went all that way to
>    learn philosophy when I could have
>    taught you everything.
>
>>answers on a postcard
>
>    Shan't
>
>>Why are goats pupils rectangle? I can think of nothing else in nature
>>that
>>grows in this shape.
>
>    Most animals have pupils that are not round. Cats
>    have diamond-shaped; molluscs (incl. octopus, squid,
>    & cuttlefish) have figure-of-eight shaped.
>
>    It depends on what you primarily use your vision
>    for. Round is okay for general purpose; more
>    control is useful for seeing bright objects in
>    the dark, for example.
>
>    Many animals (e.g., cats again) have a third,
>    horizontal eyelid as well.
>
>    Can you really not think of any rectangular
>    shapes in nature? It's one of the basic design
>    templates!
>
>
>>Whats the name of those sucky things flys eat through?
>
>    The labium (lower lip) & maxillae (horizontal jaws).
>    Some people call the whole kit & kaboodle a
>    proboscis (nose) - strictly incorrect, but
>    understandable.
>
>
>>When are me and Lucy going to be stars of kitch on the world wide web?
>
>    Photos finished, scripting & design finished -
>    just finishing off the text. A couple more weeks.
>
>>I thought I'd ask you first because you will know.
>
>    Quite right - very sensible.
>
>
>END OF CLIPS SHOW
>
>
>    Cheers,
>
>     Tom Vinelott.
>
>http://www.spend-spend-spend.com/
>http://www.spendspendspend.com/
>http://www.triplica.com/
>http://www.lapidate.com/
>http://www.carnate.com/

"I'm glad that's cleared up [Ed]"

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Day Thirty Five - from Udipour

01/10/03 - from Mary

Hi All

We made it from the Golden City, on one very long bus Journey to the lake City of Udipour - you may remember this place chris - made famous by Octipussy... The lake palace which is spectacualar was one location for the Bond film... and they won't forget it. There is a showing of the film in every restaurant, every night in town. I think there may be the person who has seen this film the most times in their life living here, but Zoe thinks it is an American.

Today we had a near brush with fame, after nearly apearing in a new film called indian christmas. Coming to a cinema near you, as long as you are in Italy in November.

Instead we took a boat trip on the famous lake, and I nearly got killed by a holy cow, which head butted me with its horn into the path of an oncoming rickshaw. Without a thought for herself Zoe saved me, grabbed my arm, and cow and rickshaw passed by, leaving me with only a bruse.

Here in the country where 'anything is possible', nothing seems to be 'as you like'. 'Yes yes' can mean 'I havn't got a clue what you are talking about' I think the bitch in me might be becoming a monster. We end up hopelessly lost which is fun enough... but what is driving me crazy is the food, nothing is as you order it, which means unfortunately we often can't eat it because it would make us sick - again. So I've snapped and Zoe's snapped, and our cries of 'just say you don't understand' are falling flat. And we are getting hungry and sick, which is making us rattey, and we snap all the more.

Mental note. Must chill out and get well again. Need a dinosaur carrot and lentil soup.

Goodnight chickadies
m.

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Day Forty - From Bollywood

6/10/03 - from Mary

Hi All

Well we made it, and earlier than expected, so we have some time to chill with the stars in the kareoke bars.

WE were on the way to some caves... which took 150 years to hune out of the rock, so we figured the 2 days to get there was probably worth it, considering all the huneing.

I should have guessed we would never make it as we ran up the hill pushing our rickshaw so it could bumpstart on the way back down. [did you never read 'A Passage to India' by EM Forster? - Ed]

Well we did get to the bus. A brand new sleeper bus - the best - basicly indestructable, on its virgin voyage. Never being one to think the worst I predicted desaster of titanic proportions.

WE got sweets to celebrate its hour late departure - none of the windows would open and 20 mins in the fans broke... I think there was susposed to be susspension, but they just forgot to switch it on.

For anybody who has never traveled by sleeper bus DON'T DO IT. It was longer than a night in barnstable hospital [how does it compare to the night sleeper from Warsaw to Cracow - Ed]. So we landed in Surat - 5 hours late for our fictional connecting bus to aurangabad.
The next bus was a sleeper bus at 10pm.
Broken and defeated we got the train to Mumbai (aka Bombay aka Bollywood) 24 hours after our journey began we arrived. Its very different here... some criminally rich people arround, and the largest slums in india.

On the pluss side, nobody stares at us here - that privalage is left for the famous.
And there is a nightlife, and we got drunk in a karioke bar last night, where we danced, and sang along to a rousing rendition of Boyzone's Words. And it wasn't the same without Mr. Shakespeare.

No tiffany though.
Or Kylie
So I didn't take centre stage, just swayed on the dance floor.

Buenos Noches
MEBs

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Day Forty Four - from arambol

10/10/03 - from Mary

Well, from our hectic travels up north, it seems now we can kick back and
relaxzzzzzzzzz
From the building site we stayed on in mumbai, to our peaceful beach hut in Goa.

Mumbai was manic - there are officially 16 million people living there, but they estimate closer to 30 million, thats half the population of the uk. We saw a bollywood movie - Boom - and it was terrible 'the fasion world meets the underworld'
3 models get involved in a fight on stage
1 breaks a diamond necklace worth milions belonging to a gangster They use their good looks to manipulate the men, hold up a bank, one of them shoots a man who gets up and sings (by far the best bit)
They kill all the gangsters in Bollywood, and come an live in arambol. I make it sound much better than it was.

Goa - a place for old ravers [who can she mean? Ed], moarning goas paradice lost... or thats what I imagioned.
Instead I find a sleepy little fishing village with a handful of old ravers mourning the introduction of goas version of the criminal justice bill, which came in a few years ago, and has effectively killed the rave scene. This we will put to the test - its Friday night and there must be a party somewhere.

There are palm trees and people selling coconuts on the beach. And to turn the sea lovers out there green, its like a hot bath - no really, and the waves knock you off your feet, but no surfers. and there's a lake to swim in and fish, and people keep trying to sell us mudbaths

I think I'm going to quickly miss city life though. I'm not much of a beach dweller. there is only so long i can sit and wait for my skin to go red. - no chance, no sun ray could penetrate my factor sixty, fear not I will return as pale as I left the isle.

I'm going to find more sunshine.

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Day Forty Nine - from pololem

15/10/03 - from Mary

We escaped arambol in the early hours in the morning and almost instantly regretted it. Ahhh the lovly arambol, with the beautiful beaches, amazing food, and friendly waiter...

Saammmmmy

The above needs to be called in a thick cocktney accent, increacingly slurred as the day progressed.

We landed in Vagator, which is a dump - or perhaps we've been spoilt. Picked up our bags and on to Anjuna. In season this place is lively - out of season its bizare neon lit, techno playing beachside restaurants are empty, but still banging (and just for Mr Shakespeare - nothing here is a goa! - sorry folks).

So next day we decided to explore - headed out on hired scooters... Have we totally given leave of our senses - perhaps. I have writen already about the state of the roads and many many terrifying journeys, and having never attempted balancing on anything with 2 wheels and a motor before, I did wonder.

Being out of season the roads are fairly quiet, we made full use of our horns, and got all the way up to 40 km/hour!

It's the only way to get real indipendence here, failing hiking out by foot, for which we do not have the time on this trip, 2 wheels is a great option, and we soon got the hang of it... wobbly at the start - a couple of times we even went off road! oops.

We swam on a deserted beach, which is a turtle nesting beach, but saw no turtles, perhaps we were looking in the wrong places - any tips penny? And had dinner in a full on package holiday resort. 2 things I never would have seen without my own transport.

Now we're in Pololem, and its another idilic beach. We arrived and found a place to stay, which said they had only opened the day before... which in actual fact ment that they only built the beach huts yesterday - cutely called coco huts eeehhhhh. Many on stilts, ours - the cheap option on the floor, they don't withstand the worst of the monsoon - which is almost over, we've had a couple of tropical storms the last couple of days, from which I shelter now.

Tomorrow we will go exploring agian. I think I might be just about beached out.

Now I go for dinner.
goodnight
m.

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Day Fifty Five - from kochin

21/10/03 - from Mary

Sorry its been a while!

Just when you were thinking I'd forgotten about you all. No such luck, now where did I leave you...
Sitting out a monsoon shower in Polalim, and with prospects of another venture out on mopeds the next day.
I have had some concern expressed by a number of people about the health and safety aspect of these trips, and would like to reassure you all that I have learnt to play complete disregard to such matters in accordance with the culture. What exactly is a seatbelt/helmit/speedometre/fuelgauge/winscreenwiper anyway - I checked the horn, loud and clear, and thats the main thing. Right?

It was amazing, really beautiful, green so much green, with red chillies drying everywhere in the sun. We got to a deserted fort and 1 beach which was 1 place i can say i was there 10 years ago before...

I need some help!
Every time we trundle off on our bikes I can't help but hum the tune 'Born to be wiiiiiiiiiiiild' whilst this entertained me for a while it is annoying me now. I need some new songs, any suggestions? [See Travelling Tunes - Ed]

I'd like to enlighten you all with a new game. Its a game me and zoe discovered in a woman's magazine we bought in Shimla (the place with the monkey temple). It was a magazine aimed at aisian women but published in London, so you may well be able to play along at home as well. According to the magazine there is a new kind of aisan man 'The Metrosexual'. He is streight, wares tight trousers, and flarey tops, often in pink or white. And so the game of 'spot the metrosexual' was born.We spotted our frist prime examples in the amber fort in Jaipur, and Mumbai was over run with bright young metrosexuals... And 'spot the metrosexual' evolved, as all good games do, into 'ask a metrosexual', these bright young things are great for directions to all the hot hip spots in mumbai.

Anyway I whilst zoe was having her photo in the sea with a whole fully clothed indian family, I was lucky enough to be asked to pose with for classic examples of metrosexuals... if only I could get copies of all the photos that have been taken of us by other people - with children, families, at top tourist attractions... we must be in hundreds of photo albums all over india by now.
[Dear reader, are you 'logging on' from India? Did you take a photo of our heros? Why not email it in to the editor (address below) - all 'legal' piccies will by posted - instant Internet fame guarenteed! - Ed]

So we had to leave goa. Bound for Kerela, we got the overnight train... advised that the ladies carriage was 'always empty' we bought our ticket, and found ourselves clambering over hundreds of women stuffed into one carriage, sleeping in every available spot - in the corridoors, on the luggage racks. I slept on the floor, to the amusement of everybody arround me, but it was a comfortable night, and I didn't get a numb bum like zoe from the wooden sltted seats - she's still complaining of a sore arse, some days later.

We landed in canancun... not sure why we decided to get of the train there, the lonly plannet said something vauge about art - and people said everywhere in kerela was nice. Turns out art is not this season, and this place was one of the most soaless places I've been - maybe I was tired, and ratty from being trodden on, or hungry after my not spicy curry came as hot as it gets... but escape was the only option.

We were 83 on the waiting list to leave.

Amazingly 83 people didn't turn up for the train, and we boarded in the morning... with no trip uneventful this was no exception. The train stopped for lunch and we were told this was 20 minuites - I was merrily looking though a comic book, munching on my banana and sumosa dinner, zoe turned round and noticed our train leaving without us, with all our worldly possesions onboard. faced with the prospect of being left with just the clothes we stand up in - in a random place which doesn't sell good sumosas we dropped dinner and started to run.

This is where watching octipussy, back in udipur paid off. James bond style jumping we made the leap - with the above mentiond total disregard for health and safety, and were reunited with our bags, and a the worried people who had told us we had 20 mins and thought they'd lost us.

So we landed in Kochi. Which is where I am now - We've seen Kathakali performances which have been a highlight - I can confirm that there are real kats in the performance. Its true. There are some good chinese nets, and we leave for munnar - a hill station tomorrow. We are in the middle of the end of a big monsoon, so its quite wet... and we are bound for wetter places. So you can stop imagioning me in sunshine and blue skys, instead think of a drowned rat.

We keep seing animals arround that we don't recognise. I have decided that they are mongoose, because I have always wanted to see a mongoose, because they had a good voice on the jonny morris tape. So its a dream come true.

Thankyou for all your replys again, its amazing that so many people make it to the end of these emails... And this one especially. Its quite long sorry.

Goodnight

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Day Sixty Three - from the Cape

29/10/03 - from Dave

Mary is not so well (but 'not so bad' either) at the moment, and Internet access is difficult, so am posting a summary of our recent email exchange.

M&Z are leaving the Cape tomorrow by bus/train and are heading for Chennia, where they are due to catch a plane to China (via Singapore) on Monday. M apologizes for the gap in communications and expects to regale us with her tall tales from the orient real soon now or when she has time in front of a functioning Internet terminal.

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Day Sixty Five - from mallapurum [actually 'Mamallapuram' Ed]

31/10/03 - from Dave

A tired Mary MSNed me just now and said she was "in mallapurum ish, near Chennia" - the only 'mallapurum' that I have found (on the Internet) is in Kerala state and not all that near Chennai - but she had been on the road for thirty hours [a long time - Ed]. Her parting words were "must go I'm being eaten alive - send my love to all" - such a romantic.

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Day Sixty Eight - near Chennai

2/11/03 - from Dave.

It seems that M&Z are indeed not far from Chennai and should be flying out to Singapore today as planned. Earlier confussion seems to because of the similiarity in name between Mamallapuram (near Chennai) and Mallapurum (in Kerela state).

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Day Seventy Two - from China

6/11/03 - from Mary

Hi all
Well we've come along way since I last wrote to you, and am glad to report that we defied zoe's predictions of not leaving india alive - just. We traveled at some pace through the south of india - no sooner had the mosquito nets gone up then we were taking them down and on the road again. From fort kochi where I left you, up to munnar, through some stunning jungle to a hill top tea plantation, back down again, for a trip from alapey (sp) - to quillon on the back waters... stunning, another place I want to retire to - people existing on strips of reclaimed land, I'm curious as how the cows got out to those tiny islands, surely not in the hollowed out palm trees the people get arroud in - maybe on the tourist ferrys, but there was none on ours. And in rained alot, and I thought about the middle of the monsoon, some of these islands are so flimsy they must get washed away. Quillon (sp?) where we landed is the hell pit of the world - together with Mina and Carrie who we met on the boat (and know Greeny - bizzare small world connections - specially for you really Rhi Bea), we went in search of our cheep and best hotel, the stares were fierce, and the the comments obscene, and the hotels sleezy, how can one place be so hidious. We escaped quickly to Varkela, for some beach resort recovery - by this time we are craveing good food, we can list food for hours, and yet find nothing we want. The one place we are guarenteed quality food is by the sea, where I have found a new love for fresh fish. On to Kalikumari (sp?) this is the southen most tip of india, the cape where you see the sun rise and moon set from the same place - clouds permitting, which they didn't. Its the place where Ghandi's ashes were stored then scattered into the sea, the place where the wandering monk sat on a rock and realised the meaning to his journey... its one of the holyiest places in india.

It was here that we began to querry the meaning of our journey - WHy the hell are we doing this?

We ran out of money... not actualy, just the bank wouldn't let us have any, and we reallised we only had enough money to get a bus out of there to madurai (sp?) where we got a taxi to an ATM, who tried to rip us off, then another taxi to dinner - our first food in 24 hours! We got a train overnight to somewhere beginning with C, where we were supposed change, but we were asleep on the floor, with children sleeping on our head, and babies susspended in saris above our heads... and so many women, we couldn't get off the train in time for our stop... so that added 3 hours to our trip, we got back to the place beginning with C, and got a bus to our final destination Malimapurm (sp?)[as far as I tell it was: 'Mamallapuram' Ed]... but it broke down, and it was the wrong bus anyway, so we hitched a ride on another bus which dropped us in the middle of nowhere, where zoe got slapped by a random woman, and was sick in the road, with a curious audience of many, with people pointing us in every direction to Malimapurm. In the end a deaf and dumb man showed us the way, and made sure we got on the right bus. He took the time to understand us instead of second guessing, and we could understand him too. So on the right bus, just, one more bus, and we arrived in Malimapurm. 30 hours after we began.

Chennai - Beijing, Zoe had flu... so another nightmare journey and we arrived.

I like it here - its very cold - maybe like scotland hoggery cold. I like the people here too, on the whole, while the people in india spoke english if they didn't know the answer they would make it up... which is no help... here though very few people speak any english, they will do everything they can to understand and communicate the right information. This often results in elaborate mime in the street. Beijing haas a very different traveling scene, people seem to live here, nobodys in a hurry to move on, and I think we might stay for a while and try to seek out some of the contemporary arts scene - any leads anybody? [uncommented on in the diary but see phots from a visit to a Temple in Beijing Ed]

We are now 8 hours ahead of you - that is quite a long time. Goodnight m.

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Day Seventy Four - Krypton factor

8/11/03 - from Mary

In the red corner we have Ms. Zoe Warlow
In the green corner Ms. Mary Bleasdale
In this game we will challenge your mental aptitude, physical strength, endurance, bowel control, stamina, sleeping patterns, motivation, and navigation.

When I feel like sometimes its hard work being a traveler I say it outloud and I have to laugh.

We met this lady when we arrived and she's been so helpful... we asked her today what she was doing here, she is 7 years into a 15 year walk arround the world, and has been stuck in beijing trying to get visas, its no wonder she gave us good advice.

Check out her epic adventure - Photogypsy

If we were all stuck in a giant game of Krypton Factor, she is in the lead, but still has a long way to go before the zip slide at the end.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
m.

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Day Seventy Six - A stroll in the park

10/11/03 - from Mary

A short walk - I kept telling myself, round and round, my new mantra. I'm here, I'm in china so a short 10km stroll on the great wall is essential.

... then somebody said the word treck, and I don't treck, but it can't be so hard right?

... then sat in the bus this morning, someone said hike. And I start to get scared and consider asking the bus to stop and drop me off. I really do not hike.

But its got to be done - I prepare for an endurance test that will gain me major points in the Krypton Factor.

And it was hard, really hard, but so spectacularly beautiful, mountains stretching as far as we could see with wall snaking on and on all 7000km of it, up and down, crumbleing ice and snow covered stairs, it was precarious going at times, health and safety would have shut it down in a second. So at least we feel at home here... And we met the 2 people with some of the best careers ever. They chose the 40 things they most wanted to do, went to a book publishers, got a commision to do them and write a book about it. They've just been in Mongolia on a course to learn how to be one of Ming's soldiers for a week. Ace. And climbing that wall wasn't as hard as it should have been, partially due to walking round cities in search of accomodation with huge backpacks with my old mantra - At least its good for me - may just of paid off, I just might be getting a little bit fitter - not fit, but i made it to the end without wanting to cry/be sick, and I took the zip cord at the end. But I'm sure I will hurt tomorrow.

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Day 82 - from Chengdu

16/11/03 - from Mary

Hi All
My belly is full, today we found grandma's kitchen, which has possibly the best maccaroni cheese the world. ever.ever.ever.

So you can all stop gloating about roast dinners, shepards pie, and fish and chips.

I am full. And Zoe hasn't been sick yet, and I havn't needed to run to the toilet. This is progress - thankyou grandma's kitchen.

We saw some sad giant pandas this morning. We were fooled by the word 'reserve' and people's recomendations. I think people must loose their heads when travelling, sucked in by the fluffy cuteness of these beautiful bears, the conditions were discusting, and I am pretty discusted at myself for even buying a ticket in there. The reserve seems to be for international relations, rather than the bears themselves, the concept of animal welfare here is completely alien. Animals are for eating and medicine, serving dinner without meat is rude, and can be anything, walking the streets here is not for the faint of stomach. I guess when food is scarce.

Chengdu is pretty funky, lots of airobics, tai chi, and gymns in the street. Its warmer here, not warm, I am refusing to take my wooly hat off still. But there are lots of mosquitos again grrrrrr

Before we were here we went to Xi'an and saw the terricotta army, which was very cool, and the figures are bigger than I expected, bigger than me - even.

Today has been so relaxing, its been great after early morning panda viewing we've just sat in cafe's and relaxed. Back to the hard tour tomorrow - post and opera are the plan.

Goodnight
m.

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Day Eighty Eight - from Kumming

22/11/03 - Ed

I had an Instant Message conversation with Mary this morning, an extract is listed below - as everyone is typing at the same time, answers are often disconnected from their questions:

******Extract Begins***********
Dave says: anyways where are you and how are you? Dave says: we just got your parcel this morning Mary says: Kumming Mary says: pronounced Quimmin' Dave says: jeans and books Dave says: good Mary says: the books are for the photos! Mary says: I am good, its spring here Mary says: all year Dave says: right - shall I make up the albums or wait for you to put them in proper order Dave says: good food? Mary says: we've found enough italian restaurants to keep us happy! Mary says: given up on chinese food Dave says: where is Kumming and where are you bound Dave says: chinnese spagetti Mary says: South - in Yunnan province - the capital of said province - I may have got the spelling wrong Dave says: thanks Mary says: bound west for Dali
***** Extract ends******

So now we know. M also mentioned that she was picking up some photos which, post permiting, will hopefully appear on a web page near here. Ed.

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Day Ninety Seven - from the Vietnam Border

1/12/03 - from Mary

And I feel like michael palin...
If he can get round the world in 80 days then I can get to Singapore for February 1st...
Look out Adam, I'm on my way, can't wait to see you all in OZ.

In this addition - read on for...
Return to the hymalayas
and
How we nearly ended up in a chinese jail

We headed to the hills again... which is just typical.

Just when we found a spot which is getting warm and I try to bannish my big fake posh coat to the bottom of my bag forever, we head up.

In china we got to kunming (careful how you say it... 'quimming') where spring reigns supreme all year round. So we head for the hills... its those hymalayas again, they just keep pulling us back. Dali - Lijang - Tiger Leaping Gorge.

It seemed as ever that everything was against us getting there, we spent 4 hours looking for that bus station and got on the last bus to the the town from construction hell - a building site, which in a couple of years I'm sure will be filled with the favoured walls of mirrors architecture. Finally we had escaped the cities and tourist towns of China, and found china real, just round the corner (and up a massive great hill) one of the most spectacular settings on earth. Tiger Leaping Gorge. It was worth every painful minuite of the hike up the '28 bends' - I swear it was more like 62. The walk that had been described in our guidebook as beautiful, was described as 'difficult' in the lonely planet, and for 'hikers with some experience' I'm not sure my great wall hike counts as 'some experience'. I don't think I would have made it to our 'halfway house' had we not met Uri on the way there, with some great advice and encouragement when I wanted to turn back. It was worth it with every corner another jaw dropping view, and finally the 'halway house', run by the fong family. We sat in the kitchen keeping warm round their stove, watching the dinner being plucked (theirs not ours) and trying to fix Mr fongs neck with our medical kits - Tiger balm can be used for everything.

Back to Kunming - from there we headed for the boarder - Hekou We had been warned about 'Mike' who has now, it seems, changed his name to 'Peter', the local scamp, so we avoided his skulduggery. Instead we ran in to the man from middlesex, first mistaken for a lonely traveller wanting company we later decide he's looking for someone to carry his drugs, probably a major barron. so that was a close call.

So we arrived in Vietnam safe and sound... and head for the hills, where its cold, and I retreive my fake posh coat from the bottom of my bag.

Only 7 hours ahead today

Goodnight
m.

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Day One Hundred and Five - from Hanoi

9/12/03 - from Ed

m reports (via MSN instant message) that they are 'back in Hanoi' after a trip to 'halong bay' and 'cat ba island'. m also reports that: the food is better, the temperature like an English summers day [cool then], people speak English and the 'deal makers' are back.

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Day One Hundred and Ten - from Vietnam (Beyond Hanoi)

14/12/03 - from Mary

Hi All
Hi Zoe

Yes this day has come... the 2 great adventurers from Exeter have parted ways and are now traveling solo. Zoe to Hue, Me to Hoi An.
Both still in Vietnam but tomorrow I head for Laos.

For those of you who have been following the SEA Games you will already know that despite vietnam haveing an overwhelming win in the medals, they lost the mens football to thailand, which is what counts.

It was amazing to be in Hannoi for the semi final when they won, and celebrated in crazy style on their motorbikes, with massive flags, music and chants. In England they would have called this a riot and sent in the police to quash the fun.

Imagine if England hosted the Olympics... and won everything... imagine the excitement, the hit singles, the fluffy bears, and bumper stickers.

Who should we meet in Hannoi... Steve, remember Steve? We met him back in Pushkar when our bus was nearly hijacked, and once more just before we left. Its a small ol' world.

Sapa, where I left you last, with the overexciteable black h'mong hill tribe folk, and blue peter style paddy fields... where I kept expecting to find Yevette Fielding, and couldn't help but look around at all the pointy hats and think, once more - in a kind of surreal way... I can't believe I'm actually here.

We've seen caves with stalagtites and mite, and amazing rock formations, a massive 1000 yr old tree, and an island with a very rare monkey which we didn't see.

Its beautiful here and there's too much to see but Laos and all its greenery calls (and I've heard its warm there - still wearing my Beijing clothes - though they have now been washed)

And yesterday we were force fed beatle nut, which is what all the old folks chew and spit red in the street, we didn't know what it was, this strange plant food but it was a wedding reception, and we were invited and obliged, watched by a large and growing group of curious women... as soon as everybody started spitting red then I knew. And it was revolting, bright red, pungent, and chewey. Surely not woth the mild high its supposed to give.

I nearly forgot to tell you about the bizzare dead Ho Chi Min. If anybody gets the opportunity to see a dead comunist dicatater embalmed (and many of them are) and you like bizzare experiences I recomend this one. We had to line up in 2 rows and were marched slowly and sielently down a plastic red carpet with police leading and watching, we walked round his dead glowing gray body with neatly trimmed mustashe and out down the red plastic carpet.

Bizzaare

Anyway Goodnigh all
Hope Hue's good Zoe
m.

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Day One Hundred and Fourteen - from Laos

18/12/03 - from Mary

Hi All
I am in Laos - finally after a 49h journey with the ex geography teacher from HELL. She actually told me off! All I did was get angry when yet another bus company took us for a ride.
I made it here and... Its Hot!

All the way from Beijing we were sure the next stop the india clothes would come out and the my coat - my big posh fake coat could be bannished forever - or at least until New Zealand winter.

I'm headed north now so they'll be no bannishing yet, but for now I am brightly coloured and toasty warm... I'll be complaining about the mozquitos next email, just you wait.

Perhaps instead of getting rid of the winter cloathes I'll get rid on the packet of pasta we bought in chengdu at grandmas kitchen when we thought we would never find good food again.

Laos, what I've seen of it is beautiful, its a strange feeling to look out of the window, and to suddenly realise that all the homes you are passing are on stilts... but you can't work out if this is unusual. My sense of normality has been skewed.

As has my pool playing. For one night only I was a pool shark. Every shot went in... if I managed to hit the ball, which was aproximately 50% of the time... 3 large beers and pot luck.

Must get dinner now - hope laos foods good.
wish me luck
goodnight
m.

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Day One Hundred and Eighteen - from Vang Vieng

22/12/03 - Ed after IM with Mary.

m is in Vang Vieng again after visiting a small village called Lao Pako. Lao Pako has no electrickery and was very quiet - deserted even. m may stay in VV for Christmas but for some reason wanted to know exactly what we would be eating for Christmas. So this is what I told her - Cheese flan, chicken portions (for the carnivores), roast spuds, mash, Yorkshire puddings, sprouts, carrots, all lubricated with veggie gravy. Oh and Christmas pud to follow for those who can still lift their arms. It seems there isn't a MSN Emoicon for salivating...

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Day One Hundred and Twenty - from Lao Paco

24/12/03 - from Mary

3 days of solitude.

Fed up with reading 'once this place was a beautiful little paradise, now it is swamped with tourists... go now before its completely ruined' It seems the collective me is changeing the face of the develloping world and I worry whether my ecconomic input balances the trashing of paradice - i'm not so sure.

So with this in mind I headed of to an eco resort... got the local bus to random town where the road ran out, then got my own little boat to Lao Paco, and found an empty hotel of bamboo huts and very bored staff, on a big river in the rainforrest.

Walking and chilling, steam baths, one sided vollyball, and reading 100 years of solitude.

Untill some expats turned up to their favaurate hideaway. I didn't like them invadeing my space. this was my hotel, I found it all on my own, how rude.

But one man went to bretton hall 30 years ago, so out there in the middle of the laos rain forrest we talked about the state of contemporary theatre in britain. surreal.

And one lady brought her guitar, and she was from sweden, and I asked her to sing santa lucia because i missed it this year, I missed my swede and her band of merry followers, wakeing me up at 5 am on 13th december wearing white and singing with offerings of biscuits.

Can I join you next year Bex?

They left in the morning and there my solitude was broken again by mark. Another intrepid arrival by boat from chesterfield. we hired a bike and drove off to a festival in a village - picture mythomroyd fate, or ufcombe sheep show (minus animals) set in a buddist monestry.

I have never talked to a monk before I got to Laos, but I have found them to be very nice people. One at the fate told our fortune and we will be married soon, they are nice but they're not always right.

Next day we left our mini paradice and headed to vang vieng - stoners paradice, back to collectively trashing a paradice... I plan to spend christmas here, which is tomorrow. That is bizzare. Its hard to imagine the preparations back home, the cards and the lights, the naff music, and the christmas number 1, its been lovely not to have been bombarded by it all for the last 3 months, but here in vang vieng they have tourist christmas and christmas dinner and a party at the brilliently named 'give pizza a chance'. And the pizza is good. But I will miss christmas dinner at home, oh i will. [We will be thinking of you eating your Christmas pizza in the jungle as we open our Christmas prezzies (including your mysterious & exciting parcel from China), pull our naff Sainsbury's crackers and eat our Yorkshire puddings - so, raise your glass - clink, clink - cheers and Merry Christmas - Ed]

goodnight folks
happy christmas

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Day One Hundred and Twenty Two - from Luang Prabang

26/12/03 - from Mary

Do they know its christmas time at all?

Well yes. Those stupid drunken forigners are wondering through the streets wearing stupid red hats again, and its the busyest day of the year for the people who hire out tractor inner tyres.

So I floated down the river on a tractor inner tyre, with the rest of Vanf Vieng, watching the world go by, and catching the pubs for a beer lao. Christmas in a rubber ring.

Then it was time to party and eat all I could eat at 'give pizza a chance's' traditional roast... which wasn't very much, because it wasn't very nice. I stumbled back to the hotel early, because the night was going downhill fast, and I was stuck with a lot of people who were laughing far too loud for no reason... or flirting.

I was met by some men in the street with guns who told me it was time to go home. They have, it seems only one law thats obayed in Laos and thats kerfew. Pubs shut at 11 (or at least turn their lights off) and nobody is alowed in the streets after midnight. Apart from that, people smoke in the street, opium is plentiful and all sorts of drugs litter the sides of the roads. But be home before the clock strikes 12.

So I left this ugly town on a beautiful river, and came to Luang Probang this morning. On the way here we drove through fantastic countryside, dotted with minority villagers wearing the most spectacular head dresses with fluressant pompoms, and vivid lamshades, and tassels.

Perhaps they didn't think too much of the red santa hats on christmas day.

Hope you all had a good christmas...
m.

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Day One Hundred and Twenty Seven - Hoggery in Vientiene

31/12/03 - from Mary

Happy Hoggery everybody.

Well Luang Probang was fantastic, I really loved the place and the people. After I left you last I found a friendly bunch of folk congragated in our Dorm.

The dorm was in the bacement, dark and damp, and as always against adversity comes camradary, and down in this den I discovered Lao Lao, a local drink made from sticky rice.
Beware of the lao lao

The rest is a blur but we awoke at 6 am brigher than before and headed out to feed the monks, who parade with baskets and I fed them banana leaf parsels.
Got to love those monks...

And the luang probang dungen party continueed with with pool vs the local kids... all day...
I am in love with the night market.

Everywhere has one, and they are amazing places, full of colour and life, and most importantly fantastic food. 20p for a massive plate of noodles, veggies and rice. I don't think I've every thought about food so much, I look forward to the next meal from the moment I finnish the last. Maybe I've got worms. Do humans get worms?

Also in Luang Probang - A cave with a million buddas, a beautiful trip up the river, a big waterfall, pretty streets, monks and wats everywhere.

So the dungen partys moved to vientiene, and I'm spreading the hoggery word in an international way... English, French, Cambodian, Japanese, Korean, Belgian...
This festival could take off.

I'm missing all the Hoggs muchas, I wish I could transport myself there for the new year.

Enjoy, I hope you got my parsel through customs robbie.

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Day One Hundred and Twenty Nine - from Bangkok

2/01/04 - from Mary

Hi all
Well I waved goodbye to Laos and all its greeness, dotted orange with monks. It occured to me that there were far too many monks, maybe even 50% of men in vienetiene and luang probang, and that whilst there are many very religious people in Laos thats a lot of men giving up alot for religion. So I asked one monk - many monks come from the hills in Laos and its the only way they can afford an education! so its like a big university... living in basic accomodtion, and working a bit to earn their keep... its a great plan, only what do the girls do?

And I was sad to leave this place where people are so genuine, for the first time in a while I didn't feel like I was watching the world go by... why would I leave?

I'm not sure, but momentum took me to thailand, in a supprize move I find myself in bancock.

I've read the beach and this city scares me... I couldn't sleep on the bus here, and as we pulled into Ko San road (sp) at 4.30 am, I was greated by the bizzare sight of someone getting dreadlocks put in, and was pleased to see there are monks here too.

The question is now I am in thailand... will I return with dreadlocks? Few people escape it seems, but I will do my best.

Morning folks
m.

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Day One Hundread and Thirty Three - In Koh Chang

6/01/04 - from Mary

Just thought I'd check in and say I'm having a great beach time

Bangkok - Koh Somet - Koh Chang

This island is lovely and theres a full moon party tonight which should be fun
I'm off to catch the sunset
m.

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Day One Hundred and Thirty Four - from Trat

7/01/04 - from Mary

Hi All
I'm leaving thailand for Cambodia tomorrow, off to find Zoe and catch up with her crazy adventures.

Full moon arrived 2 days early so I partied last night and escaped my bit of island paradise without any 'The Beach' type disasters this morning. Leaving was hard, 4 days of Island hopping chilling and I'm back in the Thai town crazy.

Thailand - where roads are finally good, but driving so reckess I am still escapeing certain death on a regular basis. Chainstores rule this land. When I arrived in Bangkok I realised I haven't seen a single chainstore in over a month... how long before Laos and Vietnam are taken by this global phonomanan, no doubt I will go back in 4 years and be one of the seasoned folk who now bemone the introduction of windows to Laos.

Bangkok was not as terrifying as I had imagioned, for sure it has its seedy parts but if you don't look you won't find. It was really refreshing to find such a liberal society, chilling out, having fun, and listening to the chilli peppers, I hadn't realised how much I missed my music collection, though I did get into the bizzare funky beat of Laos music... and the elephants in the middle of the road were elaborate topery (sp?) bushes. Everything in Bancock that I needed to do was closed for an extended 'international new year', so I'll have to go back. In thailand now it is year 2537 , so they get another extended holiday, and 2 new years, I like their style they've definately got the hoggery spirit.

I escaped to the north islands... I could get used to this chilled life, I think I might be turning into a hippy (again). I spent half a day trying to defy gravity, balancing a large stone on its corner on another stone... Andy Goldsworthey look out, I will be the next land artist... No glue, it actually works. The things you do when theres nothing you have to do. My new skill will be in the next performance. I wonder if gravity works the same down under.

Up at 5am tomorrow, to get the boarder crossing to cambodia...
Goodnight folks.
m.

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Day One Hundred and Thirty Nine - from Phnom Penh

12/01/04 - from Mary

Hi All

Despite warnings... from the paranoid dwellers of lazy isle Koh Chang... about my personal safty, armed robery and abduction aparently rife. I headed off for Cambodia.

The road for Sianokville in the south was hell with more pothole than road... the 2 seats infrount lifted off the ground...

Nails are not for biting, itching mosquito bites, or picking your nose... nor are they for untieing tricky knots. They are infact for protecting the ends of your fingers and toes, when for example 2 mini bus seats with 2 people land on the end of your foot.

Sianokville was lovely, and I didn't even pay protection - as was advised by the paranoid dwellers of lazy isle Koh Chang - from the moto drivers, and my hotel did not have 20 ft electic fenses. I am yet to see any crime, and have left the essential list of people to bribe in an emergency, back with one particularly paranoid dweller of lazy koh chang isle.

All this may have been necessary about 4 years ago, but for now cambodian have finally got peace and they are loving it.

In an attempt to find Zoe I went South as she went North to find me... which proves that we are not psycic, nor very good at reporting our whareabouts by email intime. Still I hope to finally catch up with her in 2 days time.

The highlight of cambodia so far, Bokor, a hill station built by the french but abandoned 20 years ago. I spent a day running round a massive empty casino, a well graffitied church, and an eary hotel, for fans of horror films, which I am not, apparently the shineing springs to mind... even the waterfall was dry, despite bizare out of season monsoon style rain, which made an amazing electric storm.

I've left the beaches behind me and am about to find out the extent of Polpots reign of terror. People here have seen some hard things.

Goodnight folks
m.

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Day One Hundred and Forty Four - from Siem Reap

17/01/04 - from Mary

Angkor Beer
Angkor T-Shirt
Angkor International Hotel
Angkor Cigarettes
Angkor restaurant
Angkor travel

And finally when Angkor mania reaches its height the mighty Angkor Wat.

Sadly Angkor Wat was not my favaurate Wat, this not to say that it is not a mighty great Wat, it is, and as I watched half sleepy as the sun slowly rose over its towering Wat, something big burned up in the atmosphere above it, I susspect we may have had a close call with a metior, or a space disaster, but I checked the news and there was no news. But for now I will call it the biggest shooting star ever and believe like everybody there that morning wanted to believe that we witnessed a spectacular phonomonon, in one of the most beautiful Wats on earth, where stars aline and magic happens... or maybe it was a firework.

My favaurate Wat was Angkor Thom, named after my little bro no less... less symetry and more crumbleing - no reflection on you thom, in fact it was built before you were even born.

One of the best things is when the trees are left to take the Wats, so old that the trees have grown to a spectacular size and perch precariously with twisted roots. Needless to say, I was snap happy... I have so many pictures of Wats, i won't know What Wats What. ha.

I caught up with Zoe, finally. A random meeting in the street, as travelling tradition would have it. It was great to catch up again, swap stories and have a good giggle at the disasters that as always we narrowly avoid. I'm off back to Bangkok tomorrow.

Only 13 days to get to Singapore. I'll be there.
Goodnight,
m.

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Day One Hundred and Forty Seven - back in Bangkok

20/01/04 - from Mary

Hi all

Well I left the lovely Cambodia behind, and headed back to the hectic bangkok...

And it was even more hectic than when I left it. I've never had a problem finding accomodation before, but Bangkok was officially full. Just as it was looking like I could be sitting in an all night bar waiting for checkout time at midday, I stumbled accross one of the strangest places I've stayed in yet. As I checked in, I noticed that oddly, mine was the only name in latin script - everybody else for the rest of time was from Korea. A seacret guesthouse that only Koreans can find, in the middle of bangkok. Perhaps there is a spell on it which means most people can't see it unless they are korean, somehow I must have a special power.

I can report that Koreans are very quiet. I got the best ever sleep in a dorm ever.

So I sat on the Koh San road and watched the colourful world go by Boys meeting girls who are boys who meet boys that are girls, tutus and dancing, drinking and laughing, arguments and fighting. I went dancing and was adopted by the people that never leave. All the world on one street... I wander what the 3 old dears sat oposite me were thinking. They must be the coolest grans on earth. 3 supergrans.

I'm off to krabi now for some more beach loafing. Mmmm a night on a bus.
Can't wait.
Goodnight (some hope)
m.

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Day One Hundred and Fifty - from Hat Yai

23/01/04 - from Mary

Hi all

In the last few days I've had a few near misses - first some hungry mosquios, then some hungry ladyboys, a hungry crocodile, and a very hungry cattapilla.

After the colourful streets and clubs of Bangkok, it was a bit of a shock to find my self on the deserted isle of Ko Pu. Where nothing happens. You can eat, swim, walk, or sleep. I took a walk, after sleeping, then eating, but before swimming... into the village, where you can buy snorkles, tours of the isle, and fish... I bought none. On my way in I was daudleing lazily stareing round, in no particular hurry to get anywhere, for I was not hungry, nor sleepy, nor did I have a great urge to swim for a while.

Looking round at the jungle, waiting, ready for vicious monkeys, or poisonous snakes. Preparing myself to kill any snake which happened accross my path and dared bite me.

I heard a rustling in the bushes it was more than a small bird... it was a big fuck off crocodile. So i crept nearer for a better look. And then I remembered the man who was eaten whilst his friends watched. But lucked for me this huge croc was not so hungry and it just sloped away. with its four stubby legs makeing its cumbersome body glide through the undergrowth.

When I asked it turns out there are no crocs on the island, it was a monitor lizard, which is where all the stories of dragons come from. Which is very cool and very big, and there were flames and everything and it wasn't a croc after all but a dragon.

And the cattapilla only had 6 legs and it was struggleing in the sand, and it was big and fat with a see through bum. And I tried to pick it up on a leaf to rescue it from the sand, but it kept doing back filps, and when I asked it turned out it was a worm, and likes the sand. But worms don't have legs.

Now I am in Hat-Yai which is a city with no redeaming features, especially as its full of department stores which I HATE. And it turns out I am XXL.

What do you recon Giles, have I put on that much weight since I left?

Goodnight folks
m.

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Day One Hundred and Fifty Seven - from Singapore

30/01/04 - from Mary

Hi All

Well I made it Beijing to Singapore in 3 months... Which if I traveled as the crow flys is an average of over 30 miles a day. Only a very dizzy crow would have flown the route I've traveled.

I should be on a plane right now.

Malasia was shut. Closed for chinese new year. No big celebrations, just another long holiday. Watch out for those sleezy men Zoe, it was almost like being back in India.

I'd walked round meleca, stared at the portuguise church, and old english fort, and explored a very closed china town... its times like this when you have to go looking for something new, otherwise malasia could end up a very quiet memory.

I have vivid memories which come flooding back to me everytime I'm on 2 wheels, I was 7 years old, and was the proud owner of 2 new frount teeth.

I was playing with my good friend Jenny Pacey, who was much taller than I. I had to jump up to get on her bike. As a result I wobbled down the first part of the hill.

In an attempt to copy my precarious driving style, Jenny Pacey rode streight into the back of her dads parked camper van. She lost one of her spangley new frount teeth and to this day wares a plate with a false tooth. I have riden a bike since but still being a little un I have truble finding a bike that fits and still have a few wobbly moments when jumping onto the seat.

I hired a bike... something I had bottled out of in vietnam - but they drive on the left in malasia and this bike had pedles plus the enforcment of driving licences and some sort of green cross code, gave me more courage that I was less likely to loose my teeth, or inadvertantly cause others to loose there teeth.

I had a guide who showed us all the different fruits, and herbs, explained all the ways you can use a tree and introduced us to some local wildlife. I tried the duran fruit. A massive spikey ball which stinks of rotten cabbage... and the inside is thick and creamy gunk which tastes like caremelised onions. Maybe it would be a little less wrong spread on toast if you didn't know it was fruit. As a fruit it is wrong. wrong. wrong.

I'm on my way to sydney now. But the flight was full, so I will travel tonight in Bussiness class, after 3 free meals at a posh hotel. And a new pen. And some new money.
Thankyou Singapore Airlines.

Goodnight all
m.

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Day One Hundred and Sixty - from Sydney

2/02/04 - from Mary

Hi all

I'm here in the land of Sunshine and body beautiful... where the lifegaurds average age of 7, and boasting about how much you love fruit is cool. I love fruit. I love it so much I eat 10 different fruits a day. I love it so much that my daughters first word was banana...

I'm staying with my Uncle and Auntie and their 2 children in the lovely Bronte.

On Sunday morning I dragged myself out of bed and down to Bronte beach to witness what is a truely australian phonomonon, which happens every Sunday morning all around the coast of OZ. I took Lizzie my littlest 7 year old cousen and some of the local the kids to their weekly 'nippers' class, a training class for lifegaurds. I was playing the role of a human boye, a marker for the children to swim round, I think I played the role well. Then each of the Growd ups had to grab a child and run into violent surf to check if these little Lifegaurd wannabees would float. Mine did. I was exhorsted.
It is beautiful here, and the life is fun and easy.

The children run this neighbourhood, running in and out of houses without a care in the world, as long as they are good at sport and have shiney teeth.
Everythings peachy.

I knew it would be strange to go from Asia to Australia. It is strange, but its great to be back with family and living in a real home.

Goodnight all
m.

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Day One Hundred and Ninety Eight - from Waiheke

11/03/04 - from Mary

No. of people I saw barefooted on my way to town today - 5
No. of people I met on my way to town that I know here - 2
No. of cicada I heard on the way to town today - 1,000,002
No. of dead ghekos it took to stop our water pump today - 5
No. of tomatoes I picked in the garden today - 8
No. of hamsters and gerbils - 0

gerbils?

Welcome to The Good Life...
Queue music and flowers.

Sorry Phil I've borrowed your format.

"Whats a gerbil?"

"What do you mean whats a gerbil? Small creature, bit like a rat, all kids had one, and their tail comes off when you catch them by it."

We had been telling stories about fast breeding animals... and I was telling the tail of Emma's Gerbils. Only it turns out they don't have them here, but they do have ginnipigs

How I have missed those little conversations - the ones where you pass the time exploring oddities. Getting to know people more than Place of Birth, Marmite of Vegimite preference, and Name... in that order.

The big new this week is Virginia my landlady has new trainers...
I got my job back after walking out on Friday, for which my boss appologised, will wonders never cease.
Lucy pulled a sicky today
Rachel has bought a section today
Lizz has another years visa
Maria got a new job

So tonight we will celebrate...

Only a week left on this lovely island Waiheke which has made me feel so welcome.
In a week we're headed for the South Island.

Goodnight all

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Day Two Hundred and Fifteen - from Nelson

28/03/04 - from Mary

Hi all

I'm back on the backpaking road, and we've stayed in some great places, with steaming sulpha hotpools, pigs, and scooby.

Thats right, scooby, the scooby... and you thought you'd bumped into him in some strange places chris!

Last week, Lucy Fish in the Irish Pub, this week scooby in the Backpackers...

And in said backpackers there was a picture of Yarni... it was an ex dartington haven in Webb Street Backpackers, Wellington, New Zealand.

At 3pm we will be moving on from Nelson, to Matueka, where we have a room in a comune.

I've always wanted to live in a hippy comune, but foxhole's the closest I've got till now.

Next plan to get some work and get the bank off my back.

The journey down to the South Island has been great, from southhead where the nearest shop takes a WHOLE DAY to walk to, to Rotarua, where 20m high guisers sent me sreight back to Miss Bignells geagraphy class... to

Wellington, where I just missed the fringe festival and was hours away from free tickets to a rugby match... so there was nothing for it but to head out on the town... its been a while, and I have missed dancing.

Any tips for the South Island Penny?

Goodnight all,
m.

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Day Two Hundred and Twenty Two - from the Commune

4/04/04 - from Mary

I've got a job apple picking, I've only done 1 day, I don't know how long I will stick it out for... I worked 9 hours yesterday and will get maybe 15 pounds. Can't be good really, but I should get quicker.

I rang the bank when I finally managed to get to a phone in office hours, they said it should be ok for at least another 2 weeks... what on earth are thay thinking of? in 2 weeks will their machine suddenly forget that I am in New Zealand and send out a new letter? I can't be going into town too often - unless we can get lifts its 5 pounds each way... or we can walk 1 1/2 hours, but i don't fancy that in the dark.

So as you can imagine I'm having a great time. Still it can only get better. The community we live in is nice. Lots of Bongos and fire poi and singing for harvest. Theres a class in contact improvisation and site specific theatre at the community hall tonight... whats the bet the organisers went to dartington.

Take care, send my love to everyone,
Have a great Birthday,
MEB

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Day Two Hundred and Twenty Seven - Apples

9/04/04 - from Mary

Needed - Apple recipies...

We have as many free apples as we can eat, as we can carry.
We have apples coming out of our ears.

Nina can you send me your recipie for apple crumble...

Tom V. - I have a question.

If a cyclone hit a revolving restaurant, so that its still middle was directly above the centre point of the restaurant... would the restaurant revolve faster? would it break? if it was turning in the wrong direction would the cyclone be able to change its direction, or would it carry on as normal ignoreing the cyclone completely.

It is these questions and many more I contemplate as I pick, faster and
faster and faster...
More and more apples...

This week I earnt less than 50 pounds... your votes please, should I quit picking, and go into the packing bussiness, where I can earn a guarenteed 100 pounds a week.
But if I get quicker at picking I could earn more.
Cast your votes NOW

To see mary give up the hard labour and click on the blue button, to see mary suffer scratched hands, a sore back and an incresing problem with vertigo, press the yellow button.

Don't forget the apple recipies.
Thanks, goodnight,
m.

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Day Two Hundred and Forty Two - to Christchurch

24/04/04 - from Mary

I'm alive and well
I hope you are all too
I'm packing not picking now, and the season's about to end.
Off to Christchirch soon
It'll be good to get out of the apples
I saw a band in a cafe yesterday and they did a bad cover of a nick cave
song, and it made me homesick.

Love
MEBs

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Day Two Hundred and Fifty - Seasons close

02/05/04 - from Mary

I took the advice of the majority, the masses and I were crying

'Pack, for gods sake pack'

So I said goodbye, got on my bike and peddled to the packing shed next door... They stuck me in a fridge for a while with apple chips. Then I got moved into the shed with the old ladies

If the average braeburn apple weighs 20g, and the contents of a packet of apple chips weighs 50g, not accounting for all the water that is lost out of the apple there is 2 1/2 apples in each packet. But if we do take into account all the water that is lost in the drying prossess... how many apples can you get tin the bag?

Think back to those old maths problems, there must be a solution in there somewhere? Tom?
Also what does braeburn mean please.

I think theres something missing in the turkish coffee pot at the hostel. Some of you will remember well the consiqueces of not asemboling the coffee pot corectly, from an email a few years ago titled, 'tales of the exploding coffee pot'.
What was it that was missing Noelia? What made that attempt at coffee go so horribly wrong that day?
Chris, you are experienced in the art of the turkish coffee pot. Tell me its seacrets... what do you need to do to stop this pot becoming a missile, and make good coffee?

So as you can see the details of daily life are consuming me.
Little of note to tell... except we have a car, called cheryl... its a girl racer car, with the fattest exhorst in the world, and Mag wheels (whatever that means).

So we're driving off soon to the west coast, because the season is FINALLY OVER.
And mavis (one of my favaurate old ladies) turned up to the end of season party in a blond wig. yey.

goodnight all
m.

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Day Two Hundred and Fifty Eight - jump start

10/05/04 - from Mary

We're stuck on a glacier with a busted alternater...
Got to jump start the car in the pissing rain...
Wish us luck!

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Day Two Hundred and Sixty - jump started

12/05/04 - from Mary

We made it.
Wet.
Havn't dried out yet.

But good news theres nothing wrong with my teeth and during my apple season I was eating a minimum of 5 fruit and veg a day, Zoe you would be proud...

I'm missing all sorts of people at the moment
Am going to try writing some individual email soon... could take some time...

goodnight
m.

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Day Two Hundred and Sixty Five - From Scotland

17/05/04 - from Mary

We landed in the Scottish city of Dunedin.
And Lucy has a job in Brighton.
Confused?
Me too.

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[278] Day Two Hundred and Seventy Eight - back to the comune

30/05/04 - from Mary

Hi all

Its been a while sinse I last wrote... I've been enjoying the roumours which seem to have circulated round exeter about our current whereabouts (thanks Tom).

Dunedin is in NZ, but unless you knew better you'd think you'd gone to sleep and when you opened your eyes again you've been transported to deepest scottland (just for you giles)... even the accents close. Some scots landed there and made it home some years ago... set it out like edinberge... with Princes street running theough the octigan.

It was with some sadness that we had to leave this very funky city, where nipping the local for last orders enevitably ends up in an all night session 'cause the pubs never close.

Lucy was in Brighton (the next town down the coast - no doubt set up by homesick brightonians) pruneing pine trees... after earning a massive $120 for a week (40 quid) for the hardest labour you can imagine... crawling through holes made by pigs in gorse... and after I failed to find any work, it was time to move on... to the next place where there's LOADS of work, yeah right.

Dunedin - Christchurch - Omeru - Kaikoura, where we didn't spot whales - Motuaka and back on the community, where doubtless they'll be a packhouse that'll keep me in work for a couple of weeks.

Going to play football
Goodnight
m.

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Day Two Hundred and Ninety Eight - to Auckland

19/06/04 - from Mary

Its been a while

I've been working the land since I last wrote WWOOFing (Willing Workers On Organic Farms) and its been ace. In amongst the weeding and mulching, I've made juice and written a game. 'Guess the vegetable or starve'

I think it could catch on. Its an elaborate version of chrades, the old party favaurate... but with an edge.
If you'd like the instructions please send a stamped addressed envelope to:

Mary Bleasdale
New Zealand

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Day Three Hundred and Twenty Three - and the next person to be evicted from....

14/07/04 - from Mary

Well they didn't deport me, but i was asked to leave...

Can you believe after all that stress, and great emails from Bex, Davey S., Tom V., and Zoe... Visa denied!

So off I flew, and I am currently in my second Wednesday in a row.
I was sick on the plane on the way here, I'm not sure if it was the dodgy malteaser I ate this morning (first wednesday morning) or the effects of crossing the date line, but I'm sure it wasn't the effects of 3 glasses of red wine on an empty stomach at 20,000000 feet.

I'm in LA in a VERY cheeeeesy hostel.

Free tea and cookies... I hope they are big chewy american cookies... in a minite, can't wait.

I had a great last few weeks in NZ running into dolphins, I thought I was too old to go gaga over these creatures of the sea and night trecking to spot the near extict Kiwi, who'd of thought it... i wouldn't have picked me as a bird spotter and a near death (havn't had many of those recently) plane trip off Great Barrier Island in bad weather.

114 degrees here, and not a bump in the sky to cheesy for words, give me cyclone Ivy anyday... after I've been for a swim in the pool.

See you in Mexico
m.

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Day Three Hundred and Twenty Five - food and fear

16/07/04 - from Mary

FREE - breackfast - Cake and coffee
FREE - 3pm Tea and cookies
FREE - 7pm Cake and champaine

God Bless America - Cake for breakfast

They just don't want me to leave here, in fact nobody could imagine why i would... Mexico is suiside, all sorts of horror stories of Mexican jails, and and and ummmm its just not safe.
The paranoid inhabitants of lazy isle Koh Chang - remember them, well they've found their match.

On trying to catch a greyhound bus this morning i was acosted by a cowboy - complete with hat and deep south draul... imagine please with full dress and accent...

'you don't want to go down their ma'am, down their's skiiiiid row'
'you take this from an honnest cowboy, don't go east on 7th st. its skiiiiid row down there.'

Now I'm not sure what skid row looks like but...

He's not the only one to warn me, people are scared here.
off on my adventure tomorrow

goodnight all.
m.

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Day Three Hundred and Twenty Six - Que?

17/07/04 - from Mary

there were no men with big guns at the boarder...
in fact quite the opposite - nobody even looked at me or my passport. very strange.
I'm staying in one of the best hostels in the world - Ensenada Hotel in Ensenada - that bit that sticks out on the left south of the US. Make a note Zoe and get here. It even has an ensuite jacouzie in the dorms. si si.
Nobody has hassled me, its 10 times more chilled than the paranoid city of LA, imagine that.

Adios amigos
buenos noches

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Day Three Hundred and Twenty Eight - fairytails

19/07/04 - from Mary

Hi all

Burried treasure and real life pirates...

I met a man who knows a man and this man rolled back the rug to reveal broken concreate and started digging down, a hole as long as my arm and not much wider. He hit a hollow chamber with the broom stick. Acording to the map Al Capone stored enough Tequilla to solve the worlds problems.

Everyone has a story, on the run from someone, treasure under the floor, scars and shootings.

Life's a fairytale... till Edwardo digs down further...
m.

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Day Three Hundred and Thirty Five - pieces of 8

26/07/04 - from Mary

Its good to be friends with a pirate!

I met a pirate who knows a man, I knew he was a pirate because he had 2 plats in his his beard.
So we arranged a meeting with the friend of the pirate... this friend was Captain Bob!
So off we sailed on the high seas in Burbuja his little sailing boat, to explore the Mexican coast.
We moored in a bay, a deserted bay, I mean real deserted as in in the desert and with no people...

Except I awoke at 2am feeling sick as a sea dog, and went outside to stare at the horizon and regain my balance. As I sat I noticed a boat not far from ours, a small boat and as I sat I imagioned they were columbian drug smugglers and as it happens I think I was right.

In the mornign we set off to the sealion colony, there were many sealions and some of them sounded like cows giving birth and others sounded like people vomiting. They were big and the 2 biggest ones had a fight, making waves. Captain Bob thought he was filming for a documentry in a heaving mass of grunting flab. Sealions can turn nasty and bite and when bob disapeared we contemplated the idea of sailing back by ourselves, but it turned out bob was a diver and could hold his breath longer than you could imagion. When we saw him surface we considered mutiny.
I saw turtles and mantor ray, and tropical fish in the biggest tank, 4 days of cruising round, snorkling, and relaxing.
I craved to be on the land, for my world to stop rocking, but now I{m on the land, the rocking just won't stop, and I feel like an old sea dog stuck on land. Looking forward to sleep.

Goodnight
m.

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Day Three Hundred Thirty Nine - My Mexican family

30/07/04 - from Mary

I had walked and walked
Los Moches was hot and humid, and my rucksack was weighing me down.

With my little spannish I was looking for the train station to get out of Los Moches.
After some circles, a bus drive, some more circles and asking about 100 people I realised i had my spannish for left and right confused!
Just when I thought I could not carry on, I asked 2 ladies sat on the wall if they knew where the train station was.
They must have been bored or I must have looked a sorry state and they were certainly crazy, but the next thing I heard was vamous, and the next thing I knew I was bundled into their car and taken to the train station.
I purchased a ticket for the copper canyon for the next morning, consulted my phrase book for the 1000th time, and asked for directions to a cheap hotel...

The response 'si si, me cassa'

So I stayed with Maria Carmen. She had no english, and a ceaseless list of questions.
In my half a day sitting in her barbers shop as the center of attention we established alot.

My name, age, 1 brother age 15, sorry Thom you lost a year because i could not think of the spannish for 16. I{m not married but my boyfriend is a sailer in new zealand, well the barbers was full of men wanting to accompany me to the copper canyon! I have no children. I have no friends, and I have been travelling round the world.

My spannish quadrupled in just half a day. But I was economical with the truth to avoid some tricky questions and words.

Maria Carmon, is 33 has a 15 year old daughter, likes chinese food, devorsed, is a secret drinker, secret smoker, and has a seacret boyfriend...
and her parents must never know. She is a hairdresser, and I narrowly avoided getting my hair cut in the short back and sides that it seemed all the men were getting... with a longer spikey bit at the front.

Spannish still dodgy
Copper canyon spectacular
Slighly sunburnt and in need of a beer
Time is slipping away
Home in Just 3 weeks

See you all soon (well most), looking forward to it.
Goodnight
m.

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Day Three Hundred and Forty Two - It rained bucket

2/08/04 - from Mary

Dear all

I went in search of a lost cathderal. The decent into the Canyon was breath taking and hair raising... if I made it down there I knew I needed to make it back up again. There was one other traveller making the mission down with me, daniel from Czeck Republic. As we got off the bus at 2 pm the first big drops were falling. We decided we could easily make the 8km hike to the Cathedral and back before dark. It was a spectacular walk, and as we aproached the Cathedral the rain fell harder and harder and we were disapointed to find the lost cathedral had been found and locked, and opened only every other sunday. We dived for cover, and found shelter on a porch, with 2 cowboys in rocking chairs. It was raining harder than I have ever seen it. It lasted exactly 1 hour and exactly filled the bucket stood outside the porch.

As the sky cleared, lighting cracked, and thunder echoed off the walls of the canyon, washed illumious red by the rain. We headed for home. The road we had travelled just an hour before had been washed away in may parts, and huge landslides blocked our path. We climbed along what was left of the road, a precarious and slow journey. We crossed 5 metre wide rivers, watched with amusement by the locals that lived in the hills arround. They must have thought we were nuts. It was clear that the rain was heavier than normal, and it was going to take a while to fix the roads for the long journey out of there. Stuck at the bottom of the canyon. There was nobody bulk buying at the prospect of no delivery of coca cola, and when we asked if the bus would go on Monday they said 'probably'.

It was beyond my imagionation how the bus we came down on could possibly get back up again... I didn't sleep last night, when I boarded the bus it learched to the side. I wanted to get off, but it was the only way out, it was like a rollercoaster, but the drops were not controlled and there were still unstable rocks below and above.

We stopped... I realized whose job it was to fix the road.

We threw smaller rocks to the side and fixed larger boulders to the bus with a chain to drag out of the way. A tiny local bus with no susspension never mind 4 wheel drive, packed to bursting with people needing to leave the canyon before more rain made it impassable. It wouldn't have been so bad to be stuck down there, they have bars.

Goodnight all, I must siesta, ready for more adventures, I'm off to Chihuahua tomorrow, I will look out ugly bug eyed dogs.

I am very tired.

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Day Three Hundred and Forty Six - from Zacatecas

6/08/04 - from Mary

Hi All

I walked downstairs and there was Zoe... By some 6th sense and knowing the way things go, I had guessed she would arrive at my Hostel, and had reserved her the last bed in the house.

We hadn't planned to meet here...

Zacatecas is an old colonial city, straight out of a story book. You could place it in Europe and it would be ranked amongst the Baths, and Yorks as a city. But with a lively mexican twist.

They've got an international folk dance festival here this week, and I was relived to note the lack of morris dancers. But everybody thinks i'm a dancer, which I quite like.

I ate Cactus yesterday, bit like watermelon with lots of pips. I wasn't sure if I should eat the pips, so I did, and am not feeling any ill effects. yet. I was thinking of studying Spannish for a week here, but decided a week is not enough, and I wouldn't have much chance to practice and I want to see the church where they worship Pepsi.

Home soon
Goodnight all
m.

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Last Updated: 30/01/04

Compiled from Mary's emails by her Dad.

David Bleasdale email me at